Sesshoumaru Does Ballet, Who Knew?
by Evil Shall Giggle
Summary: Kagome hypnotizes Sesshoumaru and makes him do some really, really random things. Pure RANDOMNESS!
1. Ballet

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.**

"Hmmm," said Kagome, "so this is for hypnotizing people?"

She held up a small circle of plastic on a string with a red spiral coloured on it.

"Uh-huh," Souta nodded. "Just wave it in front of their face, and they will be instantly hypnotized."

"Okaaay, but if it doesn't work…" she trailed off threateningly.

"It'll work," said her brother.

"Well, thanks," Kagome stood up and ran off to the well. She hopped in and climbed out the other side.

"Look who finally came back," said Inuyasha, who was sitting on the edge of the well and looking bored.

"Nice to see you too, Inuyasha," Kagome ran right past him, intent on finding a certain taiyoukai, and into the woods.

"SESSHOUMARU!" she called, "SESSHOOOOOUMARUUUUUU!"

She ran further in.

"SESSHOUMARU! I know you're in here! SESSHOUMARU!"

"Miko."

Kagome jumped and whirled to see the object of her search standing in the gap between two trees.

"Hi!" she waved cheerily. Sesshoumaru glared at her. "C'mere."

"Why?" he demanded.

"Because I said so," Kagome rolled her eyes, fingering the hypno-charm in her pocket. Slowly and cautiously, Sesshoumaru came down onto the path, the fluffy-thing swaying in the light breeze.

"What do you want with me?" his hand rested on Tokijin.

"Watch the circle," Kagome held out the charm and swung it back and forth slowly. Sesshoumaru's amber eyes followed the spiral, back and forth, back and forth…

"Now," said Kagome, gathering up the charm. Sesshoumaru stared at her. "Let's see… um, run into a tree."

Sesshoumaru ran headlong into a tree.

"Ouch," Kagome winced. "I guess it's working. Okay, now… do ballet."

Sesshoumaru suddenly was wearing a tiny pink tutu that Kagome swore had just appeared out of nowhere. He had the little pink tank-top, and the tiny, frilly, mini-skirt, and was also wearing light pink tights and ballet shoes.

"Whoa…" said Kagome, marveling at his outfit.

Sesshoumaru jumped into the air and twirled around, the fluffy-thing flying out behind him. He landed with his feet splayed and one hand above his head. He jumped up again, one leg stretched out in front of him, and the other behind. His arms went out to the sides, and he flew through the air.

Kagome watched him, amazed.

"Okay, okay, stop," she said, "how are you so good at ballet?"

Sesshoumaru returned to his usual costume and a slight blush covered his cheeks.

"I um, I do…" he said the rest of it so quietly Kagome couldn't hear.

"Pardon?" she asked. He looked up from the ground.

"Idoballetinmysparetime," he muttered.

"I still can't make that out," said Kagome.

"I DO BALLET IN MY SPARE TIME!" he screamed.

Kagome sweat-dropped and stepped back a little.

"You—you do _ballet_!"

"Shut up."

"HAHAHAHA! SESSHOUMARU DOES BALLET!" she shrieked as loud as she could. Sesshoumaru put a hand to his face and sighed. He was _never_ going to live this down.

**Yeah, yeah, short, I know. It was based on a game my little cousins and I were playing. They're 7 and 9 years old. It was funnier in the game, I think. Ah well.**


	2. Flirting

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.**

"If you think that I am looking at that again, you are out of your mind, miko." Sesshoumaru regarded Kagome coldly.

"Please?" Kagome begged, then decided to try a new tactic: Rin. "It'd make Rin happy."

"It would not."

"It would! I'd bet she'd love to see you doing silly things!"

"Leave Rin out of this."

"It would make her smile, isn't that what you want? To make her smile?"

"…fine."

Kagome held up the charm and swung it back and forth. Sesshoumaru's eyes once again followed it, back and forth, back and forth…

"What is thy bidding, my master?" he asked, in a voice frighteningly similar to Darth Vader's.

Kagome thought for a moment. "Follow me," she instructed. Kagome led the way through the woods to the clearing where she knew Inuyasha and company were camped, waiting for her return, a sly grin on her face.

As they reached the edge of the forest, Kagome looked through the bushes at the group. Inuyasha was lying on the ground, eyes closed. Sango was sitting with Kirara, watching Miroku intently. The monk returned Sango's gaze innocently.

"Go flirt with Miroku," Kagome whispered to Sesshoumaru, who had walked up silently behind her.

"Yes, my master," he said, again in the scary Darth Vader voice. He strolled casually into the clearing, causing the people therein to leap to their feet, weapons in hand. Inuyasha continued to sleep, snoring loudly.

Kirara growled threateningly at Sesshoumaru, well, not really, mewed threateningly is more like it, and Sango grabbed her boomerang. Miroku held up his staff.

"Lord Sesshoumaru," he said, trying to be polite.

"Ah, Miroku," said Sesshoumaru, "just the person I was looking for. How's life been treating you?"

"Um…" said Miroku, _very _intelligently, "What?"

"How're things? Getting along well with my pathetic half-brother? Relations with Sango going well?"

Miroku blinked.

He blinked again.

"You came to our camp, just to see how I was?" the monk asked incredulously.

"Not just to see how you were, but to get to know you better. You see, you seem to be such a charming person."

"Okaaay…" Miroku looked somewhat frightened. Sango tried her best not to laugh.

"Seriously," Sesshoumaru's face was still oddly blank, due to the hypnotism, but Miroku and Sango didn't know that. "From the moment I met you, Miroku, I knew. You are the one for me."

Miroku turned deathly white, and Sango fell over in a mad fit of laughter, squishing poor Kirara who was standing unaware behind her.

"I have come to ask you this question: will you bear my child?" Sesshoumaru stared off into space.

Hidden in the bushes, Kagome also toppled over with giggles.

"I…ah…" Miroku fell back on top of Sango, further flattening already-flat Kirara, who let out a strangled mew.

His task completed, Sesshoumaru snapped out of the spell. He looked somewhat confused to be standing in the middle of Inuyasha's camp, and left without another word.

Inuyasha yawned and sat up, looked lazily around. Upon seeing Kirara, Sango, and Miroku piled up, one completely two dimensional, one laughing uncontrollably, and one looking rather dead, he blinked.

"Did I miss something?"

**That could be the end, as I have no more ideas. Suggestions are welcome, just as they were when my name was still Miss Krux. sigh**

**Reviews are most welcome, as always. But then again, since this story has already been posted by Miss Krux (aka. me!) i might not get as many... another sigh**


	3. Kissing

**Kagome: oops. Apparently, Evil here had been forgetting her disclaimers.**

**Evil: Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.**

**Inuyasha: no duh.**

**Evil: that disclaimer shall apply to all chapters before and after this one. Comprend?**

**Inuyasha: what does comprend mean?**

**Sesshoumaru: it's far too complex for you, Inuyasha.**

**Inuyasha: yeah, says the person who proposed to Miroku. Now _that's_ got to be the smartest thing anyone's ever done.**

**Sesshoumaru: why thank you.**

**Kagome: Oh my God!**

**Evil: what?**

**Kagome: they're—they're having a _civil conversation_!**

**Evil: mm-hm.**

**Inuyasha: ECK! We are! I hate you, Sesshoumaru!**

**Sesshoumaru: …**

**Rin: Inuyasha hates Sesshoumaru-sama! Inuyasha hates Sesshoumaru-sama! Ladeedadeeda…!**

**Evil: Rin, shut up.**

**Rin: sniff Sesshoumaru-saaaaama, she told Rin to shut up… sniff**

**Sesshoumaru: …I hate this story…**

**Evil: WHAT?**

**Sesshoumaru: …I…hate…this…story…**

**Evil: oh. That's very nice, Fluffy. Let me tell you this now: I…don't…care. Besides, you can't hate it. I'll make you like it. Just you see…**

**Kagome: she wants me to tell all you reviewers that she thanks you for your ideas. They will be used.**

**Evil: thank you Kagome. I'm shy, and simply _could not_ say that myself. Thank you again, and on with the show…**

Several months had passed, and Kagome was beginning to get bored with just hypnotizing Koga into kissing Kagura, or making Miroku grope Inuyasha, or making Shippou ask his girlfriend out. She wanted some real excitement. And there was only one that could do that.

"OH SESSHOUMARU!" Kagome would yell every so often into the trees. "I'VE STOLEN RIN'S TEDDY! I THINK SHE WANTS IT BACK!"

And occasionally, Sesshoumaru would reply, "Rin does not have a teddy."

And, even more rarely, Rin would shout, "RIN DOES HAVE A TEDDY! BUT RIN'S TEDDY IS SPECIAL. RIN'S TEDDY IS ALIVE."

So, on those extraordinary occasions, Kagome would call back to Rin, "Can I see your teddy Rin?"

And Rin sometimes would respond, "OKAY!"

And today just so happened to be one of those days. But you see, Kagome had not yet seen Rin's teddy. And so she was very sad, for Kagome had dearly wanted to see Rin's teddy.

But, today was different. A couple of minutes after Rin had last replied, there was a rustling in the bushes to Kagome's left. Rin's head poked out, then the rest of her body. Her right hand was holding onto something in the bushes, and she tugged hard on the hand.

Out popped Sesshoumaru, followed by Jakken.

Kagome grinned and quickly pulled out her hypnocharm. Dangling it from on finger in front of Sesshoumaru's face (she had to stand on tiptoes) she let it swing back and forth.

Surprisingly, Sesshoumaru actually looked at the charm and his eyes followed it, back and forth, back and forth.

"Okay," said Kagome, trying to think of something for Sesshoumaru (aka. Rin's teddy) to do. Preferably something strange and embarrassing… she glanced around the circle at her companions. Finally, her gaze alighted on Jakken. A smirk spread across her lips and she turned to Sesshoumaru.

Pulling him down so she could reach, she whispered into his ear, "Kiss Jakken, please."

She backed up and stood with Sango, grinning.

"What did you make him do?" she asked.

"I dunno," said Kagome innocently. Sango rolled her eyes.

Sesshoumaru approached Jakken, who backed away, looking frightened.

"Sesshoumaru-sama," he said. "What are you doing? Sesshoumaru-sama?"

Sesshoumaru picked Jakken up and said, "Jakken, you have been a _most_ faithful servant, what with letting me kill you and all."

"Uh, yes Sesshoumaru-sama," said Jakken, glancing down at the ground far below his little, three-toed feet. He wriggled a little in Sesshoumaru's hands.

"So, Jakken, my most charming, handsome and loyal servant," said Sesshoumaru boldly, without any hesitation, "I shall give you this."

And he planted a big, wet kiss on Jakken's mouth (er, I mean, beak-thingy…)

A second later, the spell broke and Sesshoumaru realized what he was doing, and so he promptly dropped Jakken.

Sango, Inuyasha, Miroku, Shippou, and Kagome doubled over in wild laughter, and even little Rin joined in with a couple of suppressed giggles. Jakken looked absolutely mortified, and Sesshoumaru looked plainly confused.

"Rin, Jakken, come," he commanded and strode with as much dignity as he could muster, into the woods once again, leaving a leap of laughing monks, demon-slayers, hanyous, mikos, and kitsunes lying on the ground, on top of poor old Kirara, whom nobody _ever_ noticed.

**Evil: I hope I did that idea justice. It was a very funny idea, and had plenty of potential. I just hope that I managed to fulfill a good deal of it.**

**Kagome: she also means to say that she's sorry for not updating sooner, and that was because she had only just gotten back from Prince Edward Island (aka PEI) very late last night.**

**Evil: and I'd been there for three weeks. I now have an authentic Island accent, sort of.**

**Kagome: she has a cottage down there. A very nice cottage, too, as I hear from her. Of course, she's never invited me to come with her sometime…**

**Evil: no, I haven't. Good observation.**

**Kagome: I'm hurt! I do all this _slaving_ for you all the time, in Truth or Dare, and in Sesshoumaru Does Ballet, Who Knew? and you still don't even reward me.**

**Evil: I do so reward you! You can manipulate Sesshoumaru! You freaking got to see him naked! Argh! And you say I don't reward you! Hmph!**

**Sesshoumaru: … I kissed _Jakken_... I _kissed_ Jakken… oh… my…God…**

**Evil: Ah! Sesshoumaru said oh my God! Oh my God! He said something human! YAY!**

**Sesshoumaru: you must be rubbing off on me. Ugh, I feel polluted. I'll have to go bathe for a while.**

**Kagome and Evil: sweet.**

**Shippou: since they're all so busy daydreaming about Inuyasha's brother—**

**Inuyasha: HE'S NOT MY BROTHER!**

**Shippou: ahem. About Inuyasha's brother going skinny-dipping, I should think that Evil would want me to tell you that she appreciates reviews, especially if they contain ideas for other things that Kagome could do.**

**Evil: tips hat Cheerio, then! We're off to see Sesshoumaru skinny-dipping, the wonderful Sesshoumaru… skips off singing**


	4. Salsa and Cheerleading

**Evil: this chapter is dedicated to Nyteness, for helping me with the ideas.**

**Kagome: yawn. I'm tired. don't use me this time please.**

**Evil: what? I have to use you! You're the freaking main character!**

**Kagome: oh. Get a substitute.**

**Evil: you're hopeless, you know that.**

Sesshoumaru had, strangely, taken to accompanying Inuyasha's group. No one really knew why. Perhaps it was because he had decided that he could get closer to Tetsuaiga, or perhaps because of the strange hold Rin seemed to have on him…

But this was all good for Kagome, because you see, she just loved to hypnotize him.

Kagome held up the hypno-charm in front of Sesshoumaru and swung it. Sesshoumaru's eyes followed the red spiral, back and forth, back and forth…

"What do you wish of me?" he asked.

Kagome grinned, pleased with herself for thinking of the idea. "Do salsa dancing with Sango."

"WHAT? NO!" Sango yelled.

Kagome swung her hypno-charm at Sango too. "Do salsa with Sesshoumaru," she ordered. Sango nodded, her eyes dull.

Kagome giggled. _I am _so_ evil._

She pulled out a boombox and started up a good salsa song.

Sesshoumaru stared at Sango for a moment, then smiled naughtily. He dragged a hand across his chest as though pulling off a shirt. Sango stalked toward him, exaggerating the swing of her hips.

She slid a hand down her side, twisting to the music. The hand moved over to Sesshoumaru's side, where it wound its way along his chest, fingertips dancing. She gazed seductively up at him, her head and body somehow doing the work of that, as her eyes were glazed and unconscious.

_Babumbum…_

The music went on…

Sesshoumaru wrapped both arms around Sango and moved them progressively lower until… Kagome was surprised she didn't snap out of the spell and slap him, shouting, 'HENTAI!'

Kagome looked away, feeling suddenly guilty for manipulating her friend in such a way.

"Okay," she said suddenly. "Okay, stop. Stop it now."

They stopped, breaking apart.

"Okay, Sango," Kagome continued. "You're free to go. Sesshoumaru… do some cheerleading."

"Yes, master," he said, bowing. He whirled around once and poof! was wearing a cheerleading outfit, complete with mini-skirt and pompoms.

"Gimme an I!" he shouted, jumping up and down and waving the pompoms.

Rin yelled, "I!"

"Gimme an N!" he shouted, still shaking the pompoms.

"N!"

"Gimme a U!" he flipped head over heels and landed in the splits. Miroku winced sympathetically.

"Ouch," said the monk.

"U!" screamed Rin.

"Gimme a Y!"

"Y!"

"Oh no…" said Inuyasha. "I know where this is going…"

"Gimme an A!"

"A!"

"Gimme an S!"

"S!"

Kagome giggled, seeing the horrified expression on Inuyasha's face.

"Gimme an H!" he waved the bright pink and white pompoms back and forth over his head.

"H!" yelled Sango. Kagome stared at her, blinking.

"GIMME AN A!" Sesshoumaru jumped up and down, forming the letters with the pompoms. "AND WHAT DO YOU GET? INUYASHA! I-N-U-Y-A-S-H-A! UH-HUH!"

Inuyasha paled and wobbled a little on his feet.

"Go, go Inuyasha!" Sesshoumaru danced about. He leapt into the air and flipped. "YOU GO GIRL!" he shouted as he landed in a side-to-side splits. "YEP! YOU GO _GIRL!_"

**Evil: well, I don't know about you, but _I_ thought that was pretty good, considering I've never cheerleaded (sp?) or salsa-ed in my life, and that I'm so tired I can barely keep my eyes open, let alone type. I'm sorry, but no review responses today, although I will say that Crazed up Chick was the inspiration for writing this chapter tonight. Thank you, Crazed up Chick! That was so nice of you to say!**


End file.
